I don’t know if I’m a good dad. Korina made me a vinyl decal, at my own request, that says “world’s okayest dad”. That’s a title I can live with. I don’t want to go out on a limb and say I’m the best or the greatest, because I honestly don’t feel like I am. I can say that I am proudly THE OKAYEST! From the conversations I have had with other dads the consensus is that we are all just trying our very best to do the best we can with the best that we’ve got. Luckily I have an amazing son and an outstanding wife. At the end of the day all I want to do, is be a better man for them. That’s what I try to focus on when the doubt sets in.
It has probably been about a month, or longer…, since I sat down to write a blog post. If I’m honest there are days where I feel like a crap husband and father and I get weighed down with the “why should I write a blog post about fatherhood when I don’t even have a clue what I’m doing?” and the ever favorite “I’m not even good at this dad thing, god forbid Killian ever come to me asking for advice.” It’s a nagging feeling that I can typically hush and say I’m the okayest! I will tackle it when it all happens! This is what all those improv classes with Edd were for. Edd is a amazing improv artist out of Nashville TN and my best friend) But, what about when I can’t hush it. Why am I writing a blog post, what will happen when he does ask me what to do about the mean kids on the bus, why am I even writing this right now?
I started this blog to help dads like me that don’t know what they’re doing. For dads that are looking for a place to go to not feel alone when that nagging feeling comes along and can’t be hushed. I try to trust myself and trust that I am the okayest. I am making it up as I go. Maybe you are too and my friend let me tell you that is okay, I don’t know any dads that have a clear laid out plan for how things are going to go.
Just a thought: Maybe we should all take an improv class to help us prepare for the random things that come up? Probably a solid choice.
When it comes to this blog I just try to remind myself of why I’m doing the things I am doing (If you think about quitting, think about why you started). There is nothing wrong with feeling like you’re less than the greatest. We make mistakes, we get caught up in things, we forget toys, we lose sleep, we’re dads. Just don’t stay in the filthy clutches of the negative feelings! FEEL IT! Let it flow through you, but don’t get consumed by it. Acknowledge that you have a fear or worry and then just get back into it. Write this blog post Dillon, tell your son that people are going to be mean and the best thing that he can do is be kind to them without giving into them accept that they’re rude and move on, he doesn’t need carry the baggage of others. Maybe that’s the right answer to that bully question, maybe it’s not.
Like I said I will be making it up as I go along. Just trust in your dad instincts and in yourself.
You’ve got this!