He’s gonna cry

There are going to be days where your little dude or little doll is gonna cry. And cry. And cry and then yes, if you haven’t guessed it yet, cry some more. It’s gonna be rough and there is very little you’re going to be able to do about it. But fear not fellow father you’re strong enough to get through it.

At the Biemesderfer Casa Korina has always worked from home with her geeky crafting business: sweetest nerdy dreams. So when Killian Jaymes came along Korina was able to shift her work schedule around to be home with him. Something I’m very jealous of and respect Korina so much more for, because it’s a massive undertaking and I probably don’t tell her thank you enough for all the hard work she does.

….Hold on, I’m going to text her that I appreciate her more than she knows right this moment!

We have never seen ourselves as the “traditional” 1950’s stay at home wife and go get the bacon husband type of family. Korina is a kick ass crafty business woman and an amazing stay at home mom. Now she does handle the brunt of the crying so naturally when I get home and when Killian is having a rough day it’s my pleasure to help out. Even though I’ve just gotten home from work co parenting means stepping in when the other parent needs a moment, needs a breath, or needs to play animal crossing while drinking iced coffee.

When Korina had just had Killian and we were still in the hospital the nurses played us a five minute movie about not shaking your baby. Killian was asleep and peaceful and here 12494952_10206486279010347_7402834258897496216_n.jpgare these people talking about how overwhelming the crying can become. How you just get lost in the frustration of not knowing what to do mixed with the exhaustion that comes with early parenthood. They said “don’t shake your baby” and wagged a finger at us and we laughed about it because how could we experience a moment like that with our beautiful perfect angel cooing in the bassinet next to us?

 

Cut to the first night home.

Three in the morning and Killian no matter what we had tried would not stop screaming. Bouncing, rocking, singing, bottle, fresh diaper, nothing. It was like a crash course in baby crying and I personally was unaware at how intense the moments like these would be. But that’s the thing to remember brother. It’s a moment. And it’s something you have to learn how to work through. For me, when Killian is inconsolable, I lay him down and while he’s screaming like he’s auditioning for white chapel I close my eyes and let him do his thing for five seconds while I just let myself be silently overwhelmed. I let the Pandora’s box of doubt, fear and the you have no idea what you’re doing, just take me over. And once I’ve had my dalliance into frustration I seal the box back shut with a deep breath and then I pick Killian up and try something new.

It is not easy.  Here is a little perspective I was given.  Your baby is new here.  The wind on their cheek when they stepped outside of the hospital, well that was the first time that’s happened to them.  The stuffy nose, of course it’s a big deal to your baby they don’t know what it means to be stuffy. Naturally they are going to cry and scream.  I try to remind myself of that when he is inconsolable, something new might just be going on that he hasn’t figured out just yet.

What do you do to help get through the late night shrieks from your little banshee?

Remember, you’ve got this.

-Dillon

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